Lessons from Youth Flag Football
A few years ago, I coached my son's flag football team of 10-12 year olds. During our final game of the season, we called a running play, and the boy we assigned as running back for the play came up to me and asked: "Is it alright if I try to score a touchdown this time?"
My mind was immediately flooded with curiosity and questions. My first thought was, "What HAVE you been trying to do this whole time if not to score a touchdown?" As a coach, how did I overlook communicating the most important outcome? Why was he asking this now, during the last game of the season, but hadn't asked before? Was I just now earning his trust?
I've thought about this interaction repeatedly ever since because there are so many lessons in this exchange.
➡ Many people are so mired in the day-to-day grind, being productive for productivity's sake, and so focused on running with the ball, they forget what they're running for. If you don't know what your "touchdown" is in your life right now, it's time to pause and reflect on what outcomes you want in your life.
➡ If you know that what you want is good, don’t ask for permission. Leaders would benefit from communicating this, and employees would benefit from believing this. You know that a touchdown would be a desirable outcome. Don’t ask. Go for it.
➡ As a leader, it's just as much your job to communicate expectations and define the desired outcomes as it for your team to achieve them. It's foolish to assume people know what's expected of them if you haven't taken the time to define and communicate it.
➡ Trust doesn't come just because you're the coach/leader. Most leaders won't even know that trust wasn't there until it suddenly is. The difference in your interactions with employees who trust you is staggering. Building trust takes investment and time. And it's at their pace, not yours.
Effective leadership is like wisdom. The more you know, the more you realize you don't know.
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